A letter for life. From: Me, To: Me. Bcc: Readers.

Dear you/me,

You have always wanted to write a letter to yourself, right? Even if you had sometimes thought that this was such a stupid and silly idea. Remember you wanted to write for your 23rd birthday too but you didn’t. Why? Because you were effing lazy! You still are. Can’t blame you. It is a part of the quarter life crisis.(Blame every flaw of yours on this term, that will keep you less unmotivated!) Obviously you had so many useless stuff to do than sitting in front of your laptop and staring at a blank screen. You chose to stare at the ceiling instead.

Now look at the subject line of this post. Look what corporate life had done to you! Anyway, you owe it to your first job, today being the day (not today technically, but the day you got your first salary!) your parents took a huge leap of faith in you and let you be far away from your home; the comfort, cozy, and royal zone. Actually, you were excited, remember? You wanted to get out of home so bad. You wanted to see new faces, new places. You happily bid goodbye to your brother and dad at the railway  station and put up with your mom on the train to Mumbai for 32 hours which was equally fun when she started making friends at home. She had already started her enquiry on the places for best and cheap rate shopping. Moms, duh.

The day you entered your office campus in Navi Mumbai, with the trolleys and a shoulder bag, letting mom outside the gate and waving at her till she vanished off behind the walls of the entrance.You were overwhelmed. Obviously you had a few “friends” with you whom you thought would accompany you through out this journey. You made yourself stronger thinking about it. “Only three months. I’ll just enjoy Mumbai and get back to Chennai.”. If only you knew the universe had other plans.

The usual orientation. Checking out every face who shared fair share of rushing emotions of joy, sadness, thrill and anxiety.

The arrival at the accommodation. Baapre. Exhausted. You just wanted to lie down on the spongy bed covered in white sheets. You did. Things seemed very exciting at first. You truly felt like a rose that had been plucked away from amidst the thorns and had been placed inside a bouquet of flowers.

You know what, you got it right. You thought it would be mixed flower bouquet. Yet, you were ready to adapt the bouquet. The space was enough for you to accept the other flowers as they were but what did the other flowers think? You were expected to be like them. But no. You were a rose who would good look even next to a lily, tulip(the hotel’s name that you stayed in!!!), peony and even next to a rose. You didn’t adapt and adjust immediately but their true colors and fragrance slowly kicked in and you stayed away from a few flowers and close to a few. That has paid off. Real good. *Pats on your shoulder*

Now, preferring to live in Mumbai even after the training was a good thing, huh?

Even if a lot of people had a problem with it.

You experienced a lot of firsts. Few were the best firsts. Few made you call up mom and cry your heart out.

  • The first poem you wrote after you finally managed to get leisure time. Mind off the training subjects and scores.
  • The first salary obviously. How you didn’t wanted to spend on KFC chicken but you wanted to eat paani poori.
  • The first time you craved for rice more than tiffin items.
  • The first time you were condescended. 
  • The first time you celebrated almost all the festivals, big and grand days without family.
  • The first time you stood up for yourself and lost a few people.
  • The first time you were betrayed.
  • The first night out.
  • The first time you realized the magic of mom-made anything. 
  • The first time you made sure you didn’t give a flying eff about who cares about what you decide(expect those who matter, duh!)
  • The first time you went broke.
  • The first time you were rich enough to buy books, dresses, material gains for yourself AND your family! 
  • The first time you stalked someone.
  • The first time someone stalked you.
  • The first time of experiencing cultural shock.
  • The first time you regretted not learning Hindi.
  • The first time you because a victim of racism.
  • The first time you lost your patience at workplace. 
  • The first time you witnessed accidents.
  • The first time you knew a lot of basic things! (I’m kinda proud of where you are on this right now ) 
  • The first road trip.
  • The first time you found a best friend in a roommate.
  • The first worst rumor about you from some gossipmongers(later came to know)whom you never thought would create one.
  • The first solo trip(not so far but yeah)
  • The first place you moved in to live! 

Oh I can type on and on and on because the list is endless. Smaller things seemed significant as the city grew in you. You geared up to fly in that awe-inspiring flight of freedom. Explored joyfully. 

Falling in love with Marine drive was the best thing happened living in Mumbai.

Riding in local; becoming the ferocious, rude, callous Mumbaikar.

From knowing zilch part of Hindi to broken Hindi to the phase where you understand Hindi so well.

If anything, you made the best decision ever choosing to stay in Mumbai. The best two years of life you will never get again, ever again. You are in love with the place! The city of unending dreams. The happening city.

Mumbai gave you a lot of lessons for life. It had made you only grow better as a person. Nothing less.

You also never failed to discover that there is a fine line which is not appealing between the reality and dreams. You learnt this the hard way.

It is because of your first job, your parents, their support, their faith, the friends who are effing real, the moments you created is what is keeping you going.

A lot of people, moments, things….which made you, you.

Overwhelming to even write. Guess I’ll stop. I am sleepy.

But just don’t forget these..

  • Living life on your own terms is a part of metamorphism you are undergoing.
  • Your emotional and physical transformation as a person with a lot(an understatment) of impediments was worth it. It still is. 
  • Love yourself a bit more, I guess? Hehe. 
  • Try being less lazy, if that’s even a thing.
  • And yeah, fuck what everyone thinks when you do what you wanna do!

Oh, and now I know what’s going on in your mind. May you get a transfer soon to Chennai. It is time. I know you are thinking leaving Mumbai will give you the worst feels. I know. But it is time. There is time for everything. Sojourn at Chennai is the #Goal2k17! Keep rocking! 🙂

P.S -. Happy second anniversary on being Independent 🙂

Love,

You/Me.

~ © 2016 Shruthi Jothsana ~

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7 thoughts on “A letter for life. From: Me, To: Me. Bcc: Readers.”

  1. Wow, Shruthi!
    It is indeed the small things and the satisfaction of having discovered one’s ability to be independent that makes moments so special. I too share most of your feelings for Mumbai.
    This post is something that will kindle mixed emotions in not only you, but also me or others like me, whenever read.
    Time to leave to Chennai: Oh yes. I honestly am not sure how to leave this beautiful city that showed myself who I am. But, as you said, there is time for everything. :’)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Akka! Thanks ka 🙂 and thanks for suggesting that edits too. Really meant a lot. I knew you could relate to most of the points. I had few faces in mind who would. And yes ka, Chennai awaits. Not sure how that journey is gonna turn out to be but excited for that already 🙂 Mumbai la ye survive panitom. Chennai dhane, pathirlam 😂

      Liked by 1 person

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