I don’t wanna ramble on why I themed my title as such because I know you would have guessed it in one go. Yes, we all dream about doing stuff, and by stuff, I mean a lot of stuff. Well, as I was, showering in the most peaceful place in the world(my bathroom! DUH!) where one can brainstorm and ponder unrestricted, unimaginable and hopelessly hopeful stuff, which was primarily, my work, no, strike it off, my BRAIN’s work in the shower, I was thinking how long has it been since I had penned down. Last night , a quote has popped up in my mind, “DO NOT PUT YOUR PEN DOWN UNTIL YOU PEN DOWN”. I mentally patted my brain, my super-brain, for coming up with rhyming ,incredibly lame quote which implied greater inspirational fact instilled in it.
My train of thoughts roared its engine and was on half its way to the heart for rendition. I tried to apply the brake and say, “WAIT! Let me get on it too after the shower, let me type it out as you render it to the heart!”. Off it went, my words were unheeded. With the speed with how it traveled, wow, you should have been me, to have been felt it. Although, I managed to get on the train, when I sat in front of laptop and with the Writer open in front of me.
I kept telling myself, from the day I joined my first job. “I know this isn’t for you! But don’t give up on writing!”. Well, we all knew already how it was gonna end up. Except, I didn’t really know. I did write a few poems, now and then. Despite of a uninspiring-writable environment, I did come up with a few really good poems. After a few week, the job stragled my neck and I had to stop writing. Not like I quit, but I didn’t find time to even if I wanted to. Now I realize how pathetic is it. Not to do what you like and not talking about it to people you like. My works? They are fighting hard to be read. I felt shy. I felt insecured by how awesome writers are out there swimming in the same ocean I am in. I failed to realize they would have felt the fear that I am fighting now too. Standing in the shore where they don’t belong to, giving a lot of thoughts to walk to the waves, their feet first time touching the water, feeling it, then undressing their fear and starting to swim to the actual shore they belong to. All I know now is, by publishing this post, I have come near the waves to touch my feet ,if you know what I mean. I know I have wasted enough time, hiding my works, thinking it is very personal to me. It’s like, the writer in me has now done with living under the rock. It’s not like I have not blogged before. I have posted a few posts, but back then, I just did it for blogging thrill.
~ © 2015 Shruthi Jothsana ~